Lessons I've Learned From The Cosby Show

The Cosby Show debuted on September 20, 1984. I was just a few months over a year old. The series concluded on my 9th birthday, April 30, 1992. So, for as far back as I can remember, "the Cosby's" have been a part of  my life. I remember watching episodes of the TV show at my grandparent's house when I was little. Of course, then, I didn't always understand the humor or get the innuendo's. I don't think there has been a year since the show began when you couldn't find an episode of The Cosby's on some network. If I'm flipping through channels and I find that the show is on, I'll stop and watch it. In my almost 28 years, I'm sure that I've seen every episode more than once. Recently Netflix made the entire series available instantly. While I have seen every episode, I don't believe that I've ever seen them consecutively in the order they aired on TV. So, I've started watching the series episode by episode starting at season one. I'm currently on season four. The show never gets old. Even the episodes that I've seen over and over again are still funny and still relevant. I've always said that my dad reminded me of Bill Cosby. Their sense of humor and their dispensing of "wisdom" are very similar. There are many episodes in which the antics of Dr. Huxtable in relating to his children remind me of my own childhood and things my dad would say or do. So in honor of my childhood, here are the lessons I've learned from watching The Cosby Show:

1. Laughter is good for us.

Of course there are times for tears and pain, sadness and reproof but sometimes you've just gotta laugh. The Cosby's often remind me not to sweat the small stuff. Sometimes, all you can do is laugh and go on about your business. Even the Bible tells us that laughter is good for us, "A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22. I can't tell you how many times in my life that my real life version of Cliff Huxtable, my dad, made me laugh in spite of whatever I was going through. I may not have appreciated it at the time (I'm usually the type of person who wants to stay mad when I'm mad so I didn't always appreciate him making me laugh when I was upset or angry) but I was thankful for it later. The Cosby's also taught me that it's OK for parent's to laugh at their children. We live in a culture where we are so worried about self-esteem. The problem is most of us think more highly of ourselves than we ought to. Now, I don't mean that parents should humiliate their children or degrade them. But the truth is sometimes as kids we just did (and still do) stupid things! My parent's laughed at me more times than I can count and I turned out OK!

2. Tough love is true love.

As a parent now, I can really relate to this statement. Sometimes the best thing for a kid is for the parent to say no. I get so tired of seeing parents who don't discipline their children but allow them to run wild and say whatever they wish. They have no respect for authority. Somewhere along the way, we've gotten our roles reversed. Instead of parent's leading the household we have children making decisions and controlling the parents. Today's media doesn't help either. I can't even count how many TV shows that I've seen where children and teenagers are allowed to do as they please with no real consequences. Where is the tough love? Where is pointing your child in the right direction even though they might get upset or angry? I am thankful that The Cosby Show is still in reruns, while I don't always agree with their politics and beliefs, they had it right when it came to parenting. They taught their children the hard lessons and loved them unconditionally even when they messed up. My parent's did the same for me. I remember thinking at times that my parent's were so unfair. I couldn't understand why all the other parent's allowed their children to do things that I wasn't allowed to do. But looking back, I am so thankful. And as a parent, I can now understand and relate. As I've said in a previous post, there is a time to show mercy and a time for discipline.

3. Education is important.

One of my most favorite episodes is one of the earliest one's (if not the first, I can't remember). Theo has decided that he doesn't want to go to college when he is older. He wants to be a regular person. He can't understand why his parents expect so much out of him. Cliff sits him down and asks him how much he plans on making as a regular person then proceeds to give him monopoly money to represent what he would make in a month, less taxes (Theo didn't know about that). He then proceeds to take away money for food, rent, transportation, and even a girlfriend. Theo is left with practically nothing at the end of the segment. I don't think The Cosby Show was trying to say that there is anything wrong with being a "regular" person as Theo called it but the chances for a more successful life went up if you had higher education. Now, I realize that this is not always true in our world today. There are just as many college graduates who can't get a job and many of them will be in debt for the rest of their lives due to student loans (I may be one of those) but education at any level is important. Cosby himself is a prolific supporter of education in real life. As a parent of a three year old, I am always encouraging her learning. I know I'm biased but I think she's really smart for her age! And my parents always pushed me in my education. They didn't allow for laziness. I was a pretty smart kid so I didn't have to always try so hard but the weren't happy with what I could do without trying, instead, they were interested in what I could do when I did try. I wasn't always thankful for this but in the long run, it paid off.

4. Who says you can't go home again.

Dr. Huxtable was always making cracks about his children leaving home and coming back and leaving home and coming back. He longed for the day where his children would leave the nest for good! But he and Claire were always there for their children. No matter where life had taken them, or what decisions they had made, they were there and often with lesson number two, tough love. I am thankful to have parents just like that. No matter how old I get or where life takes me, they are there. I love being able to pick up the phone and ask for advice and on occasion, help, when things haven't turned out the way I expected. I love being able to go home and spend time with them and eat their food and have mom wash my clothes! Family was always a priority on The Cosby Show.

The truth is, I didn't really learn all this from The Cosby Show. I learned these lessons from the two best parents in the world! They emulated each of these lessons in ways I'll never forget. They shaped me into the person I am today. It just so happens that my real life often parallelled the beloved Cosby Show. OBKB!

In Case You Wanted to Know...

We are still in limbo when it comes to moving. I have to admit that I'm not a very patient person. This waiting has been hard for me. I'm just ready to know what it is we are doing. What is my purpose in packing or lack thereof? I feel bad for Ryan. I know he is stressed with the whole situation because majority of the responsibility falls on him. I am so thankful for a husband that takes care of and provides for me and Abigail. We are hoping and praying that we know something by sometime next week. On the other hand, we are going to look at two more houses in Slidell tomorrow. We looked at two on Wednesday but the nice one was out of our price range and the other, well, let's just say that if that's my only option then I guess I'll just have to learn to live with it! Continue to pray for us.

On another note, I ended up at Doctor's Urgent Care of Slidell on Thursday around noon. It was a pretty stressful day for me. I went by myself since Ryan was at home and could watch Abigail and the baby that I keep. I figured they would just recheck me and write me a different prescription (I had already been once a couple of weeks ago for a bladder infection). Well due to my symptoms and previous medical history, they drew two vials of blood and sent me next door to Doctor's Hospital of Slidell for a cat scan of my kidneys. If you know me, you won't be surprised that I was freaking out. I'm sort of a worry-wort and a hypochondriac. And of course, I had a hard time getting a hold of anyone in my family to inform them of what was going on so that added to my distress and dismay. After some paperwork and financial shenanigans, I finally had my cat scan done and was sent back over to DUC to wait for my results. Thankfully, my cat scan came back clean and my only problem was a kidney infection due to my bladder infection never clearing up. After receiving a shot in the buttocks and three different prescriptions, I made my way to Walgreen's where the pharmacy staff once again reminded me of why I don't like living here. I finally returned home 5 hours later! Whew! What a day!

The pain in my back around my kidneys was worse yesterday, so I laid around most of the day, taking it easy. The pain seems to have slacked up some so I am about to attempt to try and clean up the disaster I call my house. It's amazing to see how much I really do during the day when it doesn't get done on a daily basis. So much to catch up on.

I'm Packing Up, Getting Ready to Go...But Where?

Packing...what can I say about packing? I wish I could say I was packing for a trip to some exotic location for a vacation but sadly, the only packing being done around here is in boxes. I must confess, I haven't actually packed a box yet but I must get started soon.

We've been living in Pearl River, Louisiana for just over a year now. We packed up our home in Fernandina Beach, Florida and relocated to St. Tammany Parish. The year passed by quickly. For the most part, we have loved our time in Louisiana, although, I can't say I'm a huge fan of the state. It is a different world here...a very different culture.

When we moved over a year ago, we believed that we were moving for Ryan to attend seminary at NOBTS. However, he did not. Several things transpired that kept him from being able to pursue his education further. But I believe with all my heart that God led us here anyway. I have grown so much in our time here. God has taught me valuable lessons that I'm not sure I would have heard very well anywhere else.  God brought Ryan, Abigail, and I closer together as a family. We experienced financial difficulties and learned to be better stewards of our money and "things" the Lord has blessed us with. I learned more about and grew in my role as wife and mother. The time spent thus far in the state of Louisiana has shaped me more into the person I want to be. I have a LONG way to go but I know I'm headed in the right direction...at least with my life.

Which brings me to the point of my post.

We were informed sometime after Christmas that our landlord was putting the house we are renting up for sale. We were told that we could live here until our lease was up on April 1, 2011 and on a month to month basis after that time, if the house hadn't sold. So for the last few months we've been praying, talking, speculating on what we should do when the time came. April 1st was quickly approaching and so far no perspective buyers on the house so we figured we would have plenty of time to make a decision.

On March 31, I noticed a lady walking in our driveway while I was exercising. I sent Ryan, who was about to leave for work, outside to find out what she wanted. She was with our landlord's wife and they were looking at the property. They wanted to come inside but since I was busy and the baby I keep was asleep, we said no, and asked that they make an appointment with the realtor. Their appointment was for the next morning at 9:00 AM on April 1st, the day our lease was up. The husband and realtor showed up but the wife was stuck in traffic. We literally stood outside for an hour between the husband looking at the house and waiting on the wife to get there and then both of them looking. From the amount of time the spent looking at the house and later talking outside with their realtor, I had a feeling they would at least make an offer. That was on Friday.

On Sunday April 03, the landlord knocked on our door and handed me a letter. He told me that on Saturday they had signed a contract to sell the house. On Wednesday, an inspector is coming and unless something comes up, we have to be moved out of the house by April 30 (my 28th birthday) or May 1. They have to turn over the keys to the new owners by May 3.

So, what are we going to do? Where are we going to go? I still don't have a clue. Remember earlier when I said we'd been praying, talking, and speculating? Well, now we're just waiting on God and waiting to see what happens. When we know, you'll know. Until then, keep us in your prayers.

April, Parenting, & Choices

April snuck up on me pretty fast this year. The first three months of 2011 are already gone and in the past. I am positive that time did not go by this fast when I was a kid. Once Christmas was over, April couldn't get here fast enough. Why you ask? Well, my birthday is in April. It's the very last day in April, it might as well have been in May. But in my childhood, birthdays were just as important as Christmas. My parent's didn't always have a lot of money but my mom made sure our birthday's were special! We always got to invite all of our friends and play games and have cake and ice cream and of course, presents. My mom made memories for us. I can't thank her enough for that.

This year I'll be 28. It seems so surreal sometimes that now I am the mom and trying to be sure to create memories for my daughter. As a parent you have to be pretty selfless. And if we're being honest, it's not something that comes naturally to us. There are plenty of days where I don't want to go outside and play or I don't want to watch The Spy Next Door for the 101st time but I do it because I love my daughter. Every day that I am a parent, I am pushed out of my comfort zone. I am reminded that life isn't all about me and that it's hard. I am made more aware of my choices and the consequences of those choices every time those big brown eyes look up at me or I catch my daughter mimicking me in some way...good or bad.

One of the choices that we have made recently is to be more healthy. If you've read my blog in any capacity you will know that my weight and being healthy is something that I have struggled with for a long time. A couple of months ago, I was the biggest I have ever been in my whole life. I don't know how much I weighed because I was too scared to get on a scale and see the number. I had to take a look at my life and my eating habits and not only how it was negatively affecting me but my daughter as well. Chicken nuggets and french fries is not the road I wanted her to travel. So we made a decision. We started buying more fruits and vegetables and less junk and processed food. We cut out fast food and when we needed a quick meal we ordered grilled chicken instead of greasy hamburgers. We haven't been perfect in it but we've been better. We still have the occasional sweet treat but it's in moderation. Now when we go to the grocery store, she doesn't ask for candy or junk, she wants fruit and vegetables. Just today she practically wanted to buy every fresh fruit in the store. We eventually decided on fresh pineapple, grapes, and a mango. We've been trying to incorporate as much organic into our diet as well. It's definitely more expensive eating healthier but it's worth it. Eating this way has me really wanting to grow a garden. It's just not practical right now since the lease is up on the house we are renting and the landlord is trying to sell it. We aren't really sure where we'll be going from here but it's all in God's hands.

A great "consequence" to eating healthier is weight loss! I'm not sure how much I've lost total because as I said earlier, I didn't weigh myself before we made the choice to eat healthier. I just know that my clothes are fitting better and I feel better. I've recently incorporated exercise into my daily routine and since I've started exercising I've lost about 5 pounds. Go me!

Where is Your Treasure?

It is the week of Christmas and I'm finally ready for it! All the presents are wrapped and ready to go. Today I have to start on laundry so we can get packed for our trip to Graceville. We decided to take Abigail's gifts from us with us to open on Christmas morning. However, we won't be able to bring her "big" gift. I'm getting excited because Ryan is going to put it together Wednesday night or sometime Thursday and she is going to get it before we leave! I am so ready for her to see it. It's something I know she is going to love!

But there is something about gift-giving that I absolutely cannot stand. I despise competition when it comes to "out-doing" each other. I mean, I love a good friendly competition, in things like board games, sports, etc. I like to win. But the need to "win" when it comes to life, really gets on my last nerve. For someone like me, who has a healthy competitive streak, it can be hard at times, not to be drawn into it. There a people who are genuinely interested in what you "got" for Christmas or what you gave your children but there are other's who ask these kinds of questions just to gauge where they stand. Were they successful in "out-doing" you? How did they measure up? It's just completely irritating. I often wonder if these people are conscious of what they are doing. Or is it something they do subconsciously? Anyway, I have been drawn into this line of thinking and the need to compete on several occasions. But as soon as I realize what has happened, I quickly remember a passage of scripture, "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21. It's not things that matter. Yes, they are nice to have. But they definitely aren't a measuring stick. Too often, "things" get in the way of our relationship with God. A few verses down, the Bible goes on to say that you cannot serve two masters. So this Christmas, we really need to find out who or what it is that we are serving. Are we laying up treasures on earth? Are we competing with our "neighbor"? Gifts are nice but what was the spirit behind the giving.

A friend of mine used to have a t-shirt that said, "He who dies with the most toys, still dies."

Where is your treasure?

The World Tastes Good 'Cause The Candy Man Thinks It Should

It is Saturday morning and my Abigail is watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I wish I knew how many times she has seen this movie over the last few months but I have lost count. She prefers Gene Wilder to Johnny Depp, although, she likes both movies. I have to admit that the original version is my favorite too, although, I love Johnny Depp's movies.

Abigail and I both have favorite lines in the movie. At the very end of the movie before Charlie returns the Everlasting Gobstopper, Mr. Wonka, gets impatient with Grandpa Joe and tells him, "Good day sir!" A few weeks ago, Abigail wasn't listening so I sent her to her room. About half way there she turned around, stomped her foot, and said, "Good day sir!" Oh boy! Can you say drama queen! My favorite line happens after Augustus Gloop falls into the chocolate river. His mother is yelling at Mr. Wonka to do something and he looks at her, void of expression, and says, "Help. Police. Murder." Ha ha. I just love dry, sarcastic humor!

We've had some bumps along the way this past week - literally! My days have all blended together, but I believe it was on Monday, that Abigail fell down, face first, in her room and busted her lip. There are some days that I think she should have been a boy. She's definitely not the most graceful child. Plus, she doesn't see danger in anything. Her lips swelled up pretty badly but she was tough and we didn't have to take a trip to the ER. She's back to normal now except for a small spot on her lip. She may end up with a scar but I'm not sure.

Otherwise, we had a normal week. Yesterday, I didn't have to babysit because the mother doesn't work every other Friday. So, thankfully, Ryan was off on Friday as well. I rarely get any free time to myself so I took advantage of the opportunity! I left Abigail at home with Ryan and headed out to finish Christmas shopping. Even on a Friday morning, it was crazy busy. I am usually through shopping by the first of December but this year has been different and I've had to buy along and along whenever I've had the money to do so. So, I was out in the madness on Friday by myself but I finished up all my Christmas shopping and I even did a little grocery shopping too! I was able to get everything wrapped up while Abigail was napping.

We are officially ready for Christmas. I have to work four days next week. In addition to keeping the baby, I will be watching his older siblings next week as well. The extra money will help since we will be out of town for Christmas and the few days afterwards. We are planning on heading to my parents on Thursday night after the children get picked up. The following Monday we will be headed to Fernandina to celebrate with Ryan's family. My wonderful husband will be turning 29 before we return to Louisiana! Man, we are getting old-ha!

Tonight most of my family on my dad's side will be celebrating Christmas in Claxton. I have so many wonderful memories of Christmas with the Strickland's. The new tradition is going to eat at Cilantro's in Claxton before returning to my grandparents for dessert and presents. I hope everyone has a great time! I'm sad I'm gonna miss it.

New Christmas picture of Abigail (before the busted lip). This was Sunday morning before church. We attended FBC Slidell and listened to their Christmas cantata. I informed Abigail when it was time for congregational singing, saying it was our turn to sing. While everyone else was singing Joy to the World, Abigail was belting out, Itsy Bitsy Spider at the top of her lungs. We had a good laugh. I guess she thought that our turn to sing meant she could sing whatever she wanted to!

Baking and Decorating

I'm sure that the majority of my readers are my Facebook friends too, so you've probably already seen my recent pictures. But here is a look at what we did yesterday:

Ryan had the day off. So we decided to finally get in the Christmas spirit. While Abigail was napping I went out in search of Christmas lights and the ingredients for Peanut Butter Balls. I had to go to three stores before I could find three boxes of white Christmas lights on green strands! I've told you before how crazy the drivers are in Louisiana, so add in the holiday frenzy and it's utter chaos out there. When I returned, we woke Abigail up from her nap. At first she was not too happy about being so rudely awakened but when we told her she could "bake" with daddy and mommy had bought Christmas lights she jumped straight out of bed and started jumping up and down and clapping! She put on her new apron set from Uncle Jon and Aunt Mellissa. I snapped a picture of my two chefs before the fun began.

Here is a picture of the action. There is no picture of the finished product because well, they looked a little sad. While Peanut Butter Balls are easy to make and require only a few ingredients, someone, didn't read the instructions and we ended up with something that more or less resembled a bomb instead of a ball! They still taste good though! While they were busy "baking" I was busy putting the lights on the Christmas tree. I must confess that I became quite aggravated with my task and eventually put myself in time-out. After a little prayer and self-reflection, I came around. Abigail was so happy and ready to decorate.

This is the first year that she's really been interested in decorating and baking. Last year she helped put one ornament on and that was enough for her. She also helped make Christmas cookies last year but was more concerned about eating instead of baking. This year she was ready and excited for both. I have so many fond memories of decorating the tree and other family Christmas traditions and I pray when Abigail is older, she will feel the same.

The finished tree. She informed me that we needed a star for the top. Someone gave Ryan and I an angel topper several years ago but instead of staying lit, it constantly blinked on and off. It really gave me the creeps so we got rid of it. LOL! If you gave the angel to us and you're reading this...SORRY! :) One year, I purchased some branches and stuff to stick out of the top but it only lasted that year and ended up getting trashed. Maybe we'll get something to go on top eventually.

After we were done, Ryan gave Abigail a bath while I made supper. I tried my hand at gumbo. I think it turned out pretty good. It was a starter recipe. Next time I will be tweaking it and putting my own spin on it. Later after everything was cleaned up and we were finally ready to relax, Abigail decided she wanted to stay up all night. Somehow, she's gotten it into her head that because her daddy and I don't go to bed when she does, that we stay up all night. I decided to let her give it a try, knowing she wouldn't last all night. I think she finally gave it up about 11:30.

We slept in today and it was much needed. We have had a pretty busy week so we decided to just be lazy today. I did do a couple of things around the house and make lunch. I was able to finish a book I had been reading. Abigail watched some TV and played with her toys. We also played a game of UNO MOO that she got for her birthday from David and Lindsey. We were so busy being lazy though, that we forgot to take a nap. She fell asleep early. So now, I think I'm going to eat some supper and start a new book.