Tuesday, September 18, 2012

It's Me Again

It's been a while. Sometimes things don't go the way you expect them to. I decided to take a break from blogging to focus more on myself and my goals. I successfully completed one month of P90X and actually enjoyed it. However, I ended up gaining a pound by the end of that month and no matter what encouragement others offered me, I got discouraged. And then I did something that I often tell you NOT to do.

I gave up.

Now, I'm not saying that I was out there shoving terrible food down my throat at all times, knocking back diet soda's (which I have given up for good), and being an all around slob. But, my eating habits weren't as spot on and I overindulged too often and I stopped exercising all together. I went almost two months without any sort of exercise. I felt tired and sluggish again but most of all I felt guilty. I felt guilty that I have continued to rise up and fall down again over and over for the last 9 months. I felt guilty that I give advice that I don't seem to be taking myself anymore. And I really felt guilty that my hubby was away at training for the Army and working so hard and I was at home sitting on my butt. When I saw him a month ago he was so skinny and while it was amazing to see him, I couldn't help feel self conscious about my size. I've lost a lot of weight in the last year and a half but I still have a ways to go. Instead of letting that propel me forward, I slipped even farther down and allowed the emotional feelings to determine what I ate and what I did, which was junk and nothing.

A couple of days ago, it was like a light went off for me again. I saw my body for what it really was. I had grown comfortable in my size. I liked the way clothes fit me now and how I looked in them and I stopped seeing the work that I still had to do. I wasn't completely delusional. I knew that there was still work and if you asked me, I would tell you that I wanted to get to my goal weight, but I wasn't really too concerned about doing anything about it. I also realized that I only have about three months until I see my hubby again and I DO NOT want to look and feel like I did when I saw him last. So instead of doing what I normally do which is do a food cleanse, start a new exercise routine, and blog about it again, I decided to do what I did to begin with. I made some goals and decided to start the Couch to 5K running program over again. It's been months and months since I've run last and I probably couldn't run a mile without feeling like I was going to die. So this time, I enlisted my mom for support and accountability. We did week one, day one yesterday...in the rain, I might add. I really didn't have to tweak my diet too much, I was still eating healthy about 80% of the time, I was just allowing too many junk food snacks. I decided to give myself a challenge. I pray that I can stick with it. The challenge I set for myself was not to eat any "sweets" until Abigail's birthday party the first of November. In this I am mostly talking about processed stuff like candies and cookies and cakes.

Now, I know your wondering about the "blog about it again" part. If she isn't going to blog about then why is she blogging about it? Ha! I know, right? Well, when I do blog it will be sporadically. Maybe once a week, maybe less. I don't intend to blog every day or every other day. I'm actually going to try something new for accountability. I'm using Twitter right now. I've had a Twitter account for a long time. I take it by spells. I might tweet daily for a while and then not use Twitter again for months. But right now, Twitter is going to be my main outlet for accountability. Why? Well, with Twitter, you only get 140 characters to say what you've got to say. It forces me to be concise and to the point but still allows me to get my message out there. If you would like to join me in this quest for accountability and healthier living, come on over. If you already have a Twitter account you can follow me, I'm @jsfoster83. If you don't have a Twitter account, consider joining me and creating one. I'm using the hash tag #accountability for all my tweets related to my healthy lifestyle. If you decide Twitter isn't for you, don't fret. Like I said, I will be updating the blog and my Facebook page but only occasionally. I hope you'll join my on Twitter for some #accountability!

Peace, Love, and Healthy Living,