Not Me Monday

It's been a while since I actually posted a "Not Me Monday" so I figured it was about time. Please note that some of the following "not me's" are not recent but too funny not to share. Enjoy!

It was NOT me who accused my husband of passing gas, upon smelling a foul scent while driving back to Florida from Louisiana in March. The foul smell was coming from our daughter so we pulled over at the next rest station. It was NOT me who was going to change her on the front passenger seat because the rest of the vehicle was loaded down. It was also NOT me who got a handful of poop when I was trying to pull her onesie up high enough to change her. I absolutely did NOT throw the onesie away so that we didn't have to smell it the rest of the way home. My hands also did NOT smell like poop the rest of the way, even though I had washed them multiple times in the restroom.

After Abigail hit a little boy, I did NOT spank her while saying "we don't hit."

It was NOT me who decided to potty train Abigail this week. It was also NOT me who decided to potty train without pull-ups or training panties the first day. I absolutely did NOT have to clean up poop three times off of my floor before I realized that I should put some training panties on her. I have NOT cleaned up any more poop or pee from the floor this week!

It was NOT me who went and got a pedicure and an eye brow wax today. I was NOT embarrased when the lady pulled my feet out of the water to "work" on them. It has definitely NOT been a year since I last had a pedicure. The lady who waxed my eyebrows did NOT laugh at me when she saw them. She also did NOT ask me how long it had been since I had them done. I did NOT blame it on having a child and never getting out of the house.