I'm sorry that I didn't tell you beforehand but I've been on a blogging break. I intentionally neglected you! Sorry about that! I had to.
Well, it seems that I had gotten really good about giving advice but not so good at taking it.
Have you ever been stuck? I mean, literally, stuck? Children get stuck all the time because they try to fit there bodies into spaces that aren't big enough for them. I can't tell you how many times over the last four years that I've answered the cry of my daughter only to find her stuck somewhere she wasn't supposed to be in the first place. I recall a time, not too long after my husband and I were married, that I got stuck.
Underneath the edges of our small kitchen table was this decorative "metal." The pattern on the inside of it was sort of loopy and open. One day, while having a discussion with my husband, I absentmindedly put my hand through one of the loops. It was a tight fit but I got in through there and then I couldn't get it back out. Now, I have a tendency to panic but at first, I calmly tried to pull my hand back out and couldn't and that's when the panic set in. I interrupted our conversation and begged my husband to help get me out. Well, he wasn't helping me fast enough and the panic kicked up a notch and I began to cry for him to get my daddy. I wasn't married long enough yet to realize that I should allow my husband to help me and not go calling for my daddy. But hey, my daddy can fix anything, and I wanted to get my hand back. I now know that my husband is great at fixing things. He is completely calm and level headed in any situation and I'm most definitely not. He got my hand out just fine.
Have you ever noticed that the majority of the time you are stuck, just like a child, it was because you were somewhere you weren't supposed to be. My hand wasn't supposed to be in the metal part of the table.
I haven't been stuck anywhere physically lately but I've been stuck mentally. One of my main goals for 2012 was to lose 30 pounds by my 29th birthday at the end of April. I am here to tell you that I've only lost 3 pounds towards that goal. In the last few weeks I have gained and lost 2 of those pounds over and over and over again. I've been stuck in my weight loss. Why? The answer is the same as before. I was somewhere I wasn't supposed to be. I was doing something I wasn't supposed to do.
The somewhere I wasn't supposed to be was...the couch. I was supposed to be outside running, or at the gym, or even inside doing a workout video but most recently I've been on the couch. The something I wasn't supposed to be doing was...eating things that are bad for me. I've grown completely slack in how I eat. Instead of enjoying things in moderation every once in a while, I've been enjoying the "bad" things on too much of a consistent basis.
I've been giving advice and not taking it. I know the right things to say and I know the right things to do but knowing something and doing it are two very different things. I've grown comfortable where I am. I feel better about myself, I look better in the mirror, and even though I've said it before that I don't have it figured out, the truth is I thought I did. I was not only comfortable but I was cocky. And that my friends, is a dangerous place to be. It was.
Over the last few weeks, even months, I've struggled with my love for food. I've struggled with my addiction to food. I DO NOT HAVE IT FIGURED OUT and I probably never will.
I had planned on not blogging again until I had finally gotten out of the 160's and back on track. After a long conversation with my mom over the weekend she reminded me that people need to hear my struggles. After all, that's probably why most of you started reading my blog in the first place. I know that the advice is good and helpful but sometimes just knowing that someone else struggles the same way you do and doesn't have it figured out is a much better help than any advice.
I don't want to be stuck anymore and I'm doing my best to get unstuck. The thing about being stuck is that most often you can't get yourself out, you need help. Here is me asking for help. If you think about me this week, pray for me. Leave me a comment. Send me a message. We're in this together.
I'm off to take advantage of this beautiful weather and go for a walk with my daughter.
Peace, Love, and Healthy Living,