Sunday, May 18, 2014

My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Yesterday, I had one of the worst days of my life.

It started out like any Saturday morning with Charlotte playing and making noises and me not wanting to get up yet. A quick trip to the bathroom and the beginning of my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day began. Anyone remember that book? Well the title definitely fits.

What most of you wont know is that about 3 weeks ago I found out that I was pregnant. It came as a shock considering that Charlotte is only 5 months old and it took me significant amounts of time to get pregnant with both girls. I never expected it to happen so fast. It took me a few days to get over my shock but we were happy and hoping for a boy this go around considering that I was planning on having my tubes tied after the c-section with this baby. Having two sections so close together and it being my third, I figured that my body couldn't handle much more.

At this point, I'd only had blood work at the hospital lab to confirm the pregnancy. I hadn't seen a doctor yet as the military has their own way of doing things. So when I noticed blood while I was in the bathroom I woke up my husband to take me to the emergency room and called my friend to watch our girls.

After the girls were taken care of, off we went. The ER doctor explained that the bleeding could be cause by numerous things including miscarriage but at that point it would be hard to tell and most likely I would be sent home and come back on Monday to have repeat blood work to test my hormone levels. They needed to do several test there though including an ultrasound to rule out ectopic pregnancy. I had this done with Charlotte due to intense pain in my left ovary region which turned out to be a pretty large cyst on my ovary that went away by 20 weeks. So, I was sure that because I was having no pain that ectopic was most likely not the cause.

The ultrasound took much longer than I anticipated and the only info the tech gave me was very cryptic in nature. I knew then that something was wrong. Once I was back in my room the nurse came in to recheck my vitals and I could tell by the way she acted that it wasn't good news.

Finally the ER doctor came in and confirmed my fears. It did indeed look like there was a mass near my right ovary and there was no evidence of anything in my uterus. They were calling the OB on call to come in and confirm and I would most likely be having surgery to remove my tube and my baby. The news was devastating and heart breaking. I never expected for my world to be rocked and turned upside down that Saturday morning.

As a side note, I want to say that I am so thankful for the friendships in my life but this weekend confirmed for me that, it isn't who you've known the longest or how long you've even known someone at all, there are just some people you meet that invest in your life and love you from the get-go. I've only known Stephanie since February of this year and didn't know her husband until Ryan's unit came back from Afghanistan but these two are the best friends a girl could have. They took my girls in like their own and when things went south Stephanie left the kids in Bart's hands and came and sat with me and Ryan until they took me back for surgery. They cooked us dinner and kept my girls overnight. I'm not one to usually make friends quickly much less trust someone besides family to take care of my girls overnight but they love my girls like their own and I couldn't ask for more. Thank you Stephanie and Bart. You made my horrible day a little less sucky and I'll never forget that.

The surgery went well, I guess you can say. The doctor came in and talked to me after I woke up in recovery but I don't remember much. I should be having a follow up on Monday and I need to have another test since there seemed to be scarring on my left tube. We do not want a repeat of what happened yesterday.

So I'm resting and dealing the best I can. Right now everything seems surreal and I haven really felt the depth of what has happened to me. I'm sure when that day comes it won't be very pleasant. In the meantime my husband is taking good care of me and my friends are filling in for the family who can't be here. At this point, our friends are our family and I'm so grateful.

We ask for your prayers as I recover and we mourn the loss of our third child. Love to you all!

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