I couldn't wait to be a grown up. I thought I knew more than my parents and my life would be perfect if I could just make my own decisions. I was going to marry rich or not marry at all. But first, I was going to be Miss America. I was going to have a big house, a fancy car, and go shopping whenever I wanted. Those were my childhood dreams.
In reality my life looks nothing like I imagined it would when I was twelve years old or so. I competed in pageants but never in anything that would get me to the Miss America level. Plus, you had to have a talent for those types of pageants and I just didn't have one. My dad liked to say that I sang like I was in prison...behind three bars and couldn't find the key! :) He was joking of course but trust me, no one is asking me to sing a solo. And I'm just fine with that. Meeting the right person changes your views on marriage. I NEVER thought that I'd have been married for eight years already and have a kid. I honestly figured that I'd still be single at 28. Marriage sort of decided for me about the big house, fancy car, and shopping trips. I got married while I was in college so you can imagine what kind of money we had then.
Today, I live in a small apartment. I drive a 2005 KIA Sorento, and the only shopping trips I go on are to the grocery store. Yes, life was simpler when I was younger but life is sweeter now. I no longer think I know more than my parent's. I only hope to be as smart as them someday. My husband is my best friend and NOTHING is as rewarding as being a parent. It is the hardest thing I've ever done but I wouldn't change it for the world.
Life happens. Dreams change.
I'm not saying that I don't still hope to one day own my own home. I've decided that I despise cleaning so there is no use in having a huge house unless I can afford to pay someone to clean it. I don't see that happening. What kind of car I drive is no longer a big deal to me. I'm more concerned now with gas mileage, leg room, and trunk space more than what make or model it is. And as long as I can put groceries on the table and clothe my child, shopping trips aren't that important either. I would love to splurge on some new clothes or books or a new laptop but really things are just that in the end...things.
I am thankful for a husband who works hard to provide for us. I am thankful to the Lord who provided the job for him. I love my life and if someone told me that I could trade it all in for the life I dreamed about when I was twelve, I'd tell them to take a hike. No amount of money, fame, or material possessions could make me walk away from my life and family. I won't lie. There are times when I wish we had a little more money and that things weren't so hard at times but who doesn't.
A guy at church today sang the song, "His Eye is on the Sparrow." I've always loved that song but as I heard it sang this morning, I honestly didn't give it much thought. But later today as I found out that I no longer had a job, the song came back to me. I was caught by surprise but God wasn't. At first, I wanted to stress and worry. I don't make a lot per week but what I do make puts the food on our table and allows for a few extras or helps pay for unexpected things. I remembered the lyrics, "His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me." If God takes care of the tiny sparrow how much more so will He take care of His children?!
I've gone from the little girl who played Barbie and Ninja Turtles to a woman with a husband, child, and major responsibilities. I'll say it again, life was simpler then but it's sweeter now.