Monday, September 12, 2011

Taking Back Control

My life has been far from normal over the last month. I thought that after I got back from my stay with my parents I would be able to get back on a good routine.

It didn't happen.

On my third day back, I started a new babysitting job and broke my finger. All in the same day. For four days I wore a huge splint that made performing the simplest of tasks almost near impossible. I finally saw a hand specialist, got a couple of smaller splints, and tried to get on with things.

It didn't happen.

On the second night after I had seen the specialist, my daughter wakes up crying with an earache. After a sleepless night that consisted of her crying, moaning, running fever, and eventually vomiting, I called the pediatrician's office early the next morning. It was Labor Day and they were closed. We quickly got dressed and went to Urgent Care. After a long ordeal she was diagnosed with an ear infection and a touch of bronchitis. We loaded her up on medication and tried to get on with things.

It didn't happen.

On the third day after her visit to Urgent Care, she woke up from her nap running a high fever and complaining that her ear and head hurt. I gave her some pain medication and things went from bad to worse. She went from whining to hysterical, slapping at her head and screaming at the top of her lungs that her head  hurt. Panic set in. I had never experienced her acting like this so back to Urgent Care we went. Before she was even seen there they told us to take her to the ER. In the end, she wasn't responding to the antibiotic she was on and so her ear infection had gotten worse and the pressure behind her ear drum was causing the severe headache. Off to CVS we went to get yet another prescription and to hopefully get on with things.

So far so good.

In the midst of all of this, I have really struggled with keeping to my healthy living path. My exercise has been severely lacking and my food intake has been less than ideal. It's really been hit or miss. I allowed my circumstances to dictate how I ate or if I exercised. I've gone to bed late every night for over a month now. I still want the same things that I wanted at the beginning of this journey but instead of taking control of my life, I've let my circumstances take control of me.

Not anymore.

I haven't come this far or worked this hard to give up. Being healthy and fit is a lifelong journey. Even when I hit my goal weight, it won't be over. I'll still have to choose to eat right and exercise often.  Life has been a little bumpy lately. It's sort of like running hills. Where I live, there isn't many. So when I was training for a 5K, yes it was difficult because I wasn't a runner but it was a smooth path. I didn't have to dig in too much. But the course for that 5K was extremely hilly. It started off smooth just like my path at home but when that first hill came along, I had a choice to make. I could give up, walk, or I could dig in and fight for it. My only goal for that race was to finish without walking so I kept my head down, dug in, and kept going even when everything screamed at me to stop. And there wasn't just one hill, there were multiple hills, and each time I had to make the same choice over. My persistence paid off and eventually the finish line was in sight. So yes, life has been a little bumpy. Instead of digging in and fighting for it, I sort of slowed down to a walk. I haven't quit but I haven't given it my all and it's time to change that.

It's happening.

Today I got up and put together a healthy pot of chili for my family for lunch. After I put Abigail down for a nap, I popped in my Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD and did part of it. I'm not beating myself up for not being able to finish it. That is one hard DVD. But I have a plan to get up that hill. Each day I'm going to do a little more until I can complete the whole workout and then I'll work on doing that same workout every day for 30 days. Tonight, I have a plan to go for a walk with a friend and then I am going to bed as early as I can get there. And if in a few days from now something else comes along that wants to push me off course, I'm going to make the choice to not let it.

Peace, Love, and Healthy Living,


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